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Thursday, April 23, 2009 {12:57 AM}

I had some things i wanted to blog abt and pictures i wanted to post but since im using netkad and its so friggin laggy i decided to do this instead,just to keep my dying blog alive T.T

6 Random Things abt me

1. I love Takoyaki

2. I love to daydream and imagine wild things in my head =3

3. I can never sit still when watching TV shows except for Scrubs and CSI Las Vegas

4. I am very possesive over my belongings,my xtremely close friends and my family

5. Im my own worst enemy.

6. Im a distant relative of Grace!!! XD Her aunt is my Godma's(btw my Godma is my dad's cousin) cousin,so technically we're kinda like distantly related cousins?...anyway this fact just makes me happie =)


5 Things I Wish I Could Have

1. A new pink Sony Ericcsons (SE W580i looks nice=P) handphone with at least 1GB

2. A driving license T.T

3. A pink Proton Gen2 car

4. A part-time job that can earn me $300 per month of which $200 will be used to pay my school fees and $100 as pocket money

5. Enough money to revamp my bedroom (paint the walls light pink,get new pink curtains,pink marble floors etc etc)


5 Things I Want For My Birthday

1. A Me-To-You pink wallet (which i saw at Euro Classic XD B$29.80!)

2. A birthday cake from DQ! The Strawberry Cheesecake Blizzard cake XD

3. To rebond my hair...again...

4. A lil get together at Escapade with close friends =)

5. To ace my As exams this May-June =D


7 Changes Abt Me

1. Im more bitchy now compared to the timid Jess frm before...i tink =O lols

2. I can speak Malaysian and Bruneian malay quite fluently and am beginning to brush up on my mandarin =D

3. Im more hardworking now than before

4. Im more nostalgic..often im dwelling in the past,reliving memories from long ago

5. Im very emotional now and i can show my crybaby side..to people im comfortable with tat is >.< lol

6. I have not once complained abt doing houseworks like i would usually do because for once i feel happy tat im able to do something for my mum

7. I can actually think and truly feel tat im someone tat my peers look up to...and tat means ALOT


7 Things Abt Me Tat Still Havent Changed

1. I still make a fuss tat all my clothes MUST be pink

2. I still try to make sure tat everything i own is pink...even my shampoo bottle (currently using Loreal's nutri gloss with pearl protein thingy shampoo because the bottle is pink and well..it does make my hair softer and glossy -_-")

3. I still have trouble expressing my feelings

4. I still like to express my feelings thru letters

5. I still hate having to wake up early in the morning for school

6. I still keep thinking abt various things over and over in my head

7. My will power to go on a diet is still...lol T.T

and tats all...and before i end..OMG!! ABUGALI IS BACK IN BRUNEI..and thou we only got to meet once im already damn happie and everything still feels soo unreal because we havent met for like 2 years? hahah =) if only manzy was here too then we'd be complete..bt yeah..=) we all have our own lives to set and live. the memories we have will keep us strong i guess =)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 {10:42 AM}

Hmmm...i notice tat i have the tendency to do things irrationally. Its like i let my emotions get the best of me. Geeez. I guess i fall rather easily, but the plus factor abt tat is because i fall so easily it also means i get back on my feet just as easily and quickly. So anyway after thinkin things thru, ive decided not to privatise my blog. I mean, ive always liked to think of my blog as an open book.Dont get me wrong its not like im trying to start any fight or disregard everybodys support and suggestions,of which i highly appreciate and needed, but..i dunno,it feels like if i privatise my blog it'd be like im 'running away'. Hiding myself. I just dunno how to explain it..it like as if someone three rotten tomatoes at me and instead of standing up and fighting back or resisting and standing strong,i hide in a box. Get me? Besides,ive got absolutely nothing to hide. But anyhow im still not going to blog any family related issues because it can get pretty touchy and people can get uncomfy reading them i guess. And i got to talk to my parents abt some things and im soo glad that..whoops,im going off into family matters arent i? I'll leave it at tat. cheers lol.

And well...i've been thinking abt abortion issues,not that im goin to have an abortion =/ its a sin and i dont want to kill a life,especially one of my own. And for Christians its absolutely wrong to go for an abortion.So there was this time I went to this shop called Emmanuel and i was looking at some of the awesome pins and badges and one had a really adorable picture of a baby with his cute lil hand reaching out. And what struck me more was the words: "Take my hand,not my life". Seriously,if i was in a really emo-ey mood i would have just bawled there on the spot. Its so simple yet so deep and so touching. Well,for ME tat is if nobody gets wat i mean. So anyway it kinda got me thinking, abortion should really be banned. Dont get me wrong..i know tat im some situations like a victim of rape gets pregnant,abortion would really help the victim,kinda like gives her closure and her life back but...if instead of putting yourself in the victim's shoes,why not try to imagine you were tat unwanted foetus. Its not like you asked to come into the world this way. Tat unborn child deserves a chance in life,even if at the very beginning things are already friggin bleak. I know some people might think its better if tat baby was never borned because if he/she knew abt how his father is a rapist,tat would really be horrible. But really,who are we to decide whether a life should be taken or given? And i mean,the victim of rape doesnt really have to raise the baby by herself,she could give the baby up for adoption. And there should be agencies to help her throughout her period of pregnancy. And after the baby is born,im sure there are childless families out there tat would adopt the baby without minding, if not feeling pity, for a baby who's not wanted because his/her mother is a rape victim. Of course,im not saying that the victim is not going thru her own hell. First, she has been violated. And there in her womb is the constant reminder tat she had been violated. I wouldnt know how tat feels...but,i still think tat if she can try put her feelings and self-pity aside (not tat theres anything wrong with tat),she can at least give a lil thought to the little life in her womb. Tat baby is innocent...

Omg,i dont even know why im saying this or what im trying to achieve from rambling abt this. I just think tat if you're pregnant and you didnt want it...dont just try to get rid of the 'problem' by destroying it without further thought. This especially goes to brainless couples who want to just have sex and then when the dumb gal gets pregnant she either opts for an abortion or raises the poor thing like as though..i dunno,like as if the baby was an alien or something,thus which gives the poor kid a poor future and possibly psychological problems. Hello, take the 'b' and 'r' outta the word abortion and put in a 'd' and a 'p' instead,so whats tat spell? ADOPTION. The baby can be given up for adoption!! so okie tat was lame but still...

And another thing tat got me deep in thoughts is capital punishment/death penalty. Is it...humane? Well,for me its kinda of yes and no. Say for example a woman gets violently abused and raped,and then her body chopped into pieces and thrown to the lake for crocodiles to feed on (omg wat a sick sick thought), wouldnt it be sensible and justifiable for the damned rapist to be executed? I think in cases like these the punishment should fit the crime.

BUT then again,who are we to decide whether or not somebody,no matter how horrible,should be allowed to live or die? And wouldnt tat only put us in a more vicious cycle of bloodshed? The family members of those executed would want revenge,so they may go on a killing spree which just ends up in more bloodshed. And yes,although it may be possible that the families of victims of violent murders may get closure from seeing tat the murderers are executed,isnt tat kinda sick in a way? I mean, instead of mourning the tragedy we want the justice system to satisfy our bloodlust by 'rightfully' and 'justifiably' killing the murderer. Also,what if something went wrong during the court case,and somehow someone innocent was charged with murder? Then we would have killed an innocent life,no?

Wow,talk about random-ness. Nyways...hmmm,wat else to say. Something related to me? Well,my life is falling back into place =) there are still two nagging issues i have yet to deal with..make tat three nagging issues,but i think in time i will be able to deal with them =) one of the nagging issues is tat i so hate the fact tat i have to drink a glass of prune juice every evening just so that i can poop smoothly. And mind u even if my poop comes out smoothly it still HURTS. But i guess it beats sitting on the toilet bowl wincing and grunting for like half an hour to poop such tiny looking shit, or sometimes damn inconceivablely huge long shit, tat leaves ure butt bleeding and feeling like as if u just passed out knives frm ure anus. Awesome isnt it. Prune juice to me is like...heroine and whatever drugs to drug addicts. I cant live without prune juice.

Lol and seriously,this is so random. Well,guess tats about it for now =)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009 {5:33 AM}

A week or so ago i went to Miri for a medical check-up. Why? Coz for the past few weeks i kept having constipations,really seriously bad cases of constipations. My butt will be all bloody,like as if i was having my period >.< Gross. And the worse thing is tat it HURTS so much i could cry. So yeah,i went for a check-up and found tat i had Haemorrhoids/Piles. Eeew man sounds like some kinda sexual disease >.< (Haemorrhoids is painfully swollen veins near/at the anus caused by serious cases of constipation) My God..i felt so violated man when i had tat check-up. I consulted a female doctor coz obviously i wud not want to talk to a guy doctor abt my butt hurting and bleeding -_-" and most importantly,i sooo do not want a guy doctor poking into my butt >.<" But then again,is tat doctor i saw even a WOMAN? She was so friggin rough! Damn,and i have to go for another butt violating check-up in either two weeks time or 1 month's time. Maybe this time i'll go 'look,its embrassing enuff for me to have to show u my ass and pitiful for u to have to check it but can you not open my butt cheeks so HARD?" Haha aside from the butt violating check-up,i so hate the medicine i have to take for this stupid haemorrhoids. I have this soapy,white bullet-shaped thingy tat i have to STICK UP MY ASS. Yes,i have to stick smthing up in my ass and let it just STAY THERE until i shit. Does anyone know or understand how HORRIBLE and slightly painful and irritating it is to have smthing wedged inside inbetween ure butt cheeks? Shit man >.<

Eeew,the aftermath of poo-ing >.<" haha sad of me to take a pic of this,i know =P

Apart from that,my mum still hasnt gone for her operation yet due to financial problems >.< BUT thankfully,everything seems a bit brighter now that my sis gave a few thousand brunei dollars,so convert that to malaysian ringgit it should at least cover half of the payment needed =D and i just hope that my dad doesnt blow off the money my bro gave to my mum =/ i dunno how he got it in his head abt 'if i buy 4d and win i can pay the medical fees in one shot' =/ i knw these are desperate times but still...wake up. 4d doesnt help. Ure just wasting money tat could be saved for mummys operation. I feel so dissapointed in him at times...but i guess i have to be understanding,afterall im sure hes facing alot of stress,tension and worry now.

On to more brighter news, i finally got to meet up with Yong again after a few months T.T just this last 2 weeks i got to meet up with him in limbang..and after being together for abt 1 1/2 year,i heard him say to me face to face 'i love you jess..i love you' =') i always wanted to hear him say those precious 3 lil words but now im glad he waited till now. All the wait just makes it sweeter i dunno why..i wudnt have it any other way. Just when i tot our relationship was dying,tat it has lost its spark...he said I Love You Jess..i wish i cud spend time with him more often..i wish i cud stop being so friggin shy when im arnd him and stop being speechless or tongue-tied..i just wish he would let me stay in his arms forever and never let me go..wow,jiwang btul. Lol.

Lol i dont have pictures of us together..dont ask me why i never seem to be in a photo taking mood when im with him coz..i guess all i want is to savour the moment spent with him to the fullest? anyway,i got these pictures instead >.<




Eeeeew rite? Some personal,freak accident happened and i got these hideous,puss filled, stinging wounds >.< and i would never tell how i got them XD HAHAH. too friggin embarassing and personal so only he knows =X lol. our 'secret'.

Hmm wat else to say..oh yeah, my butt is still having that tingling sensation because i got this mail from a friend abt how it is important to wash any new underwear,especially bras,that u just bought because we dont know what parasites might be residing there O_O and this gal so happened to not wash her bra and she started having this strange rash and even friggin holes in her breast and after a few weeks she found that the holes were really deep and larvae was growing there and feeding off her breast tissues O_O EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW. That picture made me so...AHHHHH. I actually had to go into my room,strip off my clothes and like stare at my chest for a few mins before feeling safe and secure tat nothing like tat is gonna happen T.T EEEEW MAN. But tat gal is really something else..she had HOLES on her breast and she didnt bother abt it and thought tat it would go away? WTF is wrong with her??!!

Hahah well this has been a very random blog. lol will update nxt time =)

Monday, March 09, 2009 {9:11 AM}

*blog has been edited because...my words were abit harsh in some areas and i may have indirectly hurt someone i didnt intend to =( i dont wanna cause any damage so yeah,slight changes here but otherwise still the same*
I almost cried last Saturday at school. And tats pretty fucking amazing considering the fact i dont just bawl in public. And its all coz i was scolded at the assembly point,which is the middle of school where everyone can see me, by the principal,deputy principal and senior master. I dont know why but their words hurt me pretty bad..and the fact tat i keep thinkin 'they judge my unfairly. they've blacklisted me forever just coz of this' is not helping and it made me felt worse then.

After assembly, the senior master (mistress really,coz its a she,a BITCH) asked my group tutor to call me up front and dismissed everyone else. And then suddenly i find myself facing her,and then the principal and deputy principal as well ganging up on me. And the senior master started bitching about my attendance,because it was horrible and below 85%,which was the required percentage of attendance,so she kept asking me why was i absent,bla bla. Well so i told her there are times when i was absent, but most of those days when i was marked as absent i was actually in school,just tat i didnt make it in time to my registration class so i went straight to my subject class. It makes perfect sense to me,why should i bother abt attendance/registration class,get a late slip for it and end up late for my subject classes? So anyhow, all three of them started bitching there =/ The principal noticed i was a week absent from sch in January and i told her it was because i was on leave for CNY and geez,she should know since my father came all the way to school to see her and talk abt my student pass and abt my absences. And my dad even told me tat she said to him that she could accept my reason for being away frm school for a week. So when i reminded her i was absent for a week in January was because of CNY, she shook her head,gave me the cold eyes and said 'no,tats not a good reason." WTF? Hello,ure chinese ureself too bitch. You should know the importance of CNY since ure chinese too,and no its not just of the ang paos to me, its abt family reunion.

And then she continued bitching about my attendance,and was shocked there were so many late bla bla. She asked me why i was late all the time,i told her i dont know. Well,what can i say? My dad likes to sleep in till 6.30am and we move by 7am and by tat time the traffic would already be heavy. Would she even believe that? And when she pestered me on,and she came up with the conclusion 'i think its because you wake up late' well fuck you bitch,dont just judge me like that. FYI i wake up early bitch. God. Then when i finally said no,its coz my dad wakes up late, she tells me 'no dont say your father your father,fix that problem ureself'. WTF? I gave u my reason and this is how u react to it? So she goes on to saying if i cant fix my late problem i shud just move school and go to Maktab Duli or smthing. Wat a bitch man. I NEVER wanted to come here anyway,i had no choice the MOE put me here. And the only reason i stayed is because MD doesnt have Psychology. And is it any wrong tat i feel sorry and guilty tat my dad, who doesnt have a job now(btw his 'boss',whom we are related to,ran off somewhere with his family and never paid my dad $5000 worth of his salary and he left all his unfinshed job behind,and his debts as well... sigh,so my dad's doing freelance work now), have to pay for my school fees and worry abt how my mums gonna get money for her operation, and have to wake up early every morning to send me to school? So of coz if he wakes up late i dont mind and i cant really say a thing because i feel bad abt it...he shud be sleeping in and resting and waking up like 8-9ish..so is it really wrong for me to feel tat its ok for my dad to get a lil extra shut eye? And i didnt waste my breath saying all this to tat bitch coz shes just go 'dont ure father ure father' at me again =/Obviously last year i was always on time because he still had his stable work then,so he was committed (n motivated?) to waking up early to send me to school and then go to work.

And here comes the horrible part. They started bitching abt the fact tat i still dont have my student pass. My dad has been having trouble gettin me a student pass because hes not working anymore so he cant sponsor me. So,i still dont know how this thing works or how am i ever gonna get someone to sponsor me. Sigh. And this bitch of a principal should know because my dad visited her abt this. And u know what she said? "i know ure father came to see me and giving me all the reasons but theres really nothing i could do. u better get this fixed" Bitch. U wasted my fathers time then since its like u disregard everything he says. I dont know how to explain how i feel but i just really HATE her. Then she goes on to saying how its illegal wat im doing,studying without a student pass bla bla, and said that she could go to jail for this and/or be fined $10,000. Oh. So its about protecting ure reputation and ureself. You dont really care wat problem or situation im in tat i cant get a student pass. Bitch. Okie,its horrible of me to not settle my student pass problem and putting her in this mess,but if she really cared abt it she would ask for a meeting with my father/parents to find out wats wrong,not scold me like tat in the middle of the school. Besides, what can i fucking do. Can i go to wherever im supposed to go to issue my student pass by myself? Can i sponsor myself etc etc? Hell no,this is wat my parents are supposed to do for me,so if she really wanted to settle this problem she should be seeing my parents,not ME. and definately scolding me like tat would not help solve anything. The only thing she managed to do was make me feel like dirt and i absolutely HATE her. So much tat i feel like i could do something soo stupid just to HURT her.

So imagine this,right after assembly u are called to the front and then everyone else is dismissed. And then all three heads of authority are there scolding u and lecturing u. At least the deputy principal could show a face of concern and he look honestly worried abt my situation whereas the principal she had a cold,angry face the whole while. The senior master had commented 'look at your attitude blah blah" and she rolled her eyes and walked off at one point. Excuse me,what attitude? I did not rudely talked back,i answered when i was asked questions. Whats wrong with my attitude? It shud be wats wrong with YOURS? You got menopause or smthing is it? Bitch. And yeah..guess of all this scolding, bitchy look from the senior master and cold,hard face frm the principal made my throat really dry and my eyes swell. But no,i did not cry. I manage to hold everything in. No way was i gonna cry in front of them. Hell no.

Ugh. im sorry if my blog didnt make any sense,or none of u could understand how i feel and why im so angry..but i just needed to let go. God,i cant wait to get out of this school.

Monday, February 09, 2009 {6:41 AM}

Ugh...this year of the Ox is clearly not a good one.

(BTW there is gonna be a hell lot of swearing in this post,so bear with me >=P )
This is prolly the first time tat Brunei is suffering from flashfloods and landslides. Even Miri has not been spared. Usually we hear about foreign countries suffering from these natural disasters and think 'oh we're lucky to be living in this area,this small country,where nothing of that sort would happen'. My dad made a joke saying that this was afterall the year of the water ox/buffalo,and as well all know these animals love to lay in the mud or shallow ponds(basically watery areas),tats why there has been so many rain and floods this year,because the Ox wants to find a place to rest >.<" Its kinda funny and somewat scarily true at the same time O_O

To make things worse,this year really is tough for me. I always thought tat this year would be easier for me than last year since last year i enrolled late into school so i was sooo lost and had loads of lessons to catch up on. Whereas this year i wont miss out on anything at all and im already used to the school and its system. So basically,i tot i was gonna be alrite. OMG,i dont believe how wrong i can be =/

First off,my group tutor can be such a beech =S (Btw group tutors are those teachers assigned to take your attendance,like a class teacher) It was supposed to be Mrs.S who was our group tutor but unfortunately she went off to Aussie to live with her Aussie husband. So we have this new group tutor. She was never assigned as a group tutor before,so she doesnt really know wat to do. Tats understandable BUT still,come on man,wat is so hard abt being a group tutor? All you have to do is stay in your assigned Registration class from 7.30-7.45am and take attendance of your students and give out any memo from the school. TATS IT.

Ok,im really not making any point here or making sense at all. Its just tat when i think abt her i feel like my head can xplode. I just hate how she follows everything by the book. Last year,whenever i was late Mrs.S never asked me to get a late slip. All she did was mark me as L(late) in her attendance. And really,tats all u need to do! THIS group tutor however,wants me to go all the way to block B,which is two buildings away, to get a late slip for her so she can mark me as L. WTF? ITS JUST A FRIGGIN REGISTRATION CLASS FOR CIBAI'S SAKE. Nowadays i usually arrive in school late, say around 7.37am. It takes about 3 mins or so to walk from the school entrance to my registration class,so by the time i reach my class(which is located on the 1st floor) it'll be around 7.40+am or sometimes 7.45am when the bell rang. I would walk in and she'd go "ooh dear me,you'd have to go get the late slip". If i do tat,i'll be late for my REAL subject classes. So wat would you rather do? Walk all the way to the Student Affairs room to get a late slip for ure register class and be late for ure subject class? HAH. And come to think of it,even if i did come late into register class last year, Mrs.S never gave me an L before,she just marked me as attended. Okie,so maybe u cud argue tat she was too lenient,but hell,if she could be this carefree abt it why the hell cant my group tutor now just do the friggin same?! UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.
And worse of all, i gave her a letter stating tat i was going to be absent for a week to celebrate the CNY with my family in Miri. And she must have just thrown it away or watever because my dad just received a letter stating tat the school wants him to write a letter explaining why i had been absent for so long. OMG. I AM SO PISSED. Seriously. Just thinking abt this rite now makes me SO MAD i feel like KILLING SOMETHING.
And the part i HATE the most abt her is this. I paid for my School Funds ($39) on the day we were supposed to pay. Of coz i came in class late,and the bell was abt to go off in another 6 mins but still tat was sufficient time for me to pay to her the funds. Besides,i remember some other guys in my class were queing up to pay as well. I was the last to pay and i remember giving her $40 and she game me back $1 change,and tat was it. I asked her if there was anything else,you know maybe there should be a receipt or smthing,but she said tat was all. Bloody bitch. A week after tat she called me up to her desk and told me i was the only one who hasnt paid for the school fund. Oh God,give me somthing to KILL rite now. I told her i already paid for the fuckin fund and she insisted i didnt,and said tat if i did pay she would have recorded it and given me the receipt. Bitch bitch bitch u lousy careless useless cibai bitch. She kept insisting on it 'oh no,jessica,no. See here,if u had paid i would have already recorded it and given u a receipt. So no,u have not paid yet." No matter how many times i told her i already paid,she was insistent tat i never paid her. Its not my fucking fault tat tat day u so happen to just absently take my money and forgot to even record it you lousy bitch. UGH IM SO MAD AT HER. I have to see her face every morning!! Obviously,my dad is mad at me so i have to use my own ang pao money to pay for the school fund.

Secondly,im starting to struggle in all my classes,even ENGLISH. Well,i daresay tat my english is still good and not rusty,its just tat i find the classes now soo damn boring tat im not motivated anymore. Back then i would always pass up my homework,even those i missed out on when i was absent,i would find out abt it,do it and hand it in. Now,i cant be bothered >.< We have been doing the topic on 'Politics and Sport' since last month!!! Its enough to drive me mad.

And just today i had my socio exam..all tat i studied did not come out in the exam >.< so i didnt know A SINGLE THING. NOT ONE EFFING SINGLE THING CUD I ANSWER. I know its a really lame and old 'excuse' 'oh wat i study for didnt come out' but it ALWAYS HAPPENS. Sighz. I studied on New Left Realism and New Right Realism views on Crime and Deviance becoz i tot tat was what might come out and in the end Functionalist views on Crime and Deviance came out. Fuck =/ i feel like im the only one in class who cudnt do the exam. Everyone else was smiling when they came outta the exam room,some even stating tat i was easy! Most of the stuff tat came out in the exam were things taught in class when i was absent during CNY >..< fuck it..im a failure at socio. Socio is like MATHS to me.

And u know wat..i feel tired enough already from talking abt all this >.< i wanted to go on abit more but seriously,just typing this is so sickening,wat more reading abt it. Ugh. But rest assured,maybe after my first asst.exams(which is going on now) i'd be more my usual self and be as hardworking as i was last year. Sigh..so so tired T.T

Wednesday, February 04, 2009 {9:44 PM}

Okie..although i soo love this blogskin coz of the sheeps..i HATE that all my words are in caps,makes it seem like im SHOUTING, and that the title of my blog doesnt appear T.T oh well.

Anyway,today i decided to post pictures =D

Welcome to my material world XD


I got this new carpet for my bedroom at Parkson Grand =D eeee~i love it i love it i love it! So much to the point tat i cant seem to wipe my feet on it for fear tat it'll get dirty XD


And apparently She-ra likes it as well =P



This Lulu Belle plush kitty is an xmas gift frm my sis =D I love how pink and furry it is. Yay,another addition to my family of soft toys XD I think collecting soft toys is sort of like a hobby for me =D thou majority of my soft toys are gifts frm ppl ^_^



I got this pink bunny pencil case in Limbang just yesterday =D I cant store much stuff inside but all i really need is my pencil,eraser and 3 pens. So its just nice =)




Who says folders for school have to be black and dull? I wrapped my folders in wrapping paper and they look awesome. I like colourful stuff(with the main colour being pink of coz =P),cos i think it kinda motivates me to study? =P hahah!


When my mum went for a check-up in Limbang yesterday,i was bored stiff waiting for her in the clinic's waiting room. Then i came across this poster on the different varieties of SHIT XD HAHAH~finally some entertainment.





Yay! Sushi galore! My bro-in-law decided to treat me and my sis to sushi at Escapade becoz we had a rather stressed up day tat..friday i think. My sis n i ordered up to $89+ worth of sushi O_O haha we were pigs man tat day!



EEEE dont u think he is just so CUTE? We were at my Godma's house for CNY open house.




This was taken at the airport last Monday when my bro flew back to KL. He was here for one week to celebrate the CNY with us.


Hehe my bebe can pose! XD future vain pot.

Monday, February 02, 2009 {7:28 PM}

Okie,finally i can blog again =D

Its been a long while since ive read anyone's blog as well. It really sucks being net-less but come to think of it..i've gotten sooo used to it. Even now when i have the access to go online(using the sch's library computer),i cant find anything much to do >.< I dont find friendster or facebook entertaining any longer,i havent chatted with anyone on9 for so long tat when i come online no one pm me and mind u im not being 'oh poor me nobody cares',im just stating it like it is. The only thing i still find entertaining is reading blogs and writing blogs. If i had broadband,i'd prolly use it to download anime and songs 24/7 and to check and update blogs only. Wow,how ive changed. I used to rot away bak then when i didnt have internet. Now that i tink abt it,i wonder why was i so glued to the net? Maybe it was the attention i got or smthing..i dunno. But all i want now is to use the net for downloading,references and to keep in touch with friends overseas =)

Alot of has happened. Though the one tat caused the most impact on both me and my family is the horrible news tat my mum has to go for surgery/operation. She had been suffering from leg pain since a year or so ago,and have been going for weekly check-ups at Miri Medical City Clinic(not sure if i got the name rite) since 2008 till now. She has been diagnosed with SPLIT DISC. Its when a part of ure leg's bone(dont mind my crappy english here >.<) gets moved out of place/alignment with ure other leg's bones. It used to be one bone outta place,but just recently we found out tat now TWO bones have gotten outta place. She went for an MRI (multiple resonance imaging,kinda like xray but more..detailed and clear)the day after New Year and got this news. Wat a way to bring in the new year eh. Before,when just one bone was outta place,the doctor said there might be a chance to get the bone bak into place with just medicines and injections,and surgery could be avoided. But now with TWO bones outta place,surgery is a MUST.

Having split disc is a PAINFUL thing =( My mum cant walk too much,cant sit in the same position too long,she cant carry heavy things and basically she needs to restrict from moving around too much. Which is why ive been doing majority of the housework since last year. I cant let my mum to do so much. I try to do as much as possible, washing the dishes,cooking,cleaning the house etc. The only thing my mum still does is wash her own clothes and my dad's because she has a washing machine and a clothes dryer conveniently placed inside her bathroom and dresssing room =)

Guess you could say this was one of the main reasons why nowadays im always a no-show at outings and events. My mum does allow me to go out...but can you really leave home to go out and have fun when you know your mum who's suffering frm slip disc will have to walk arnd the house doing chores and lifting heavy stuff like the kettle and kitchen wok when you could have been the one doing those stuff and relieving your mum so she can rest? I cant..i rather my social life crumble away. And anyway,its not like just because i refrain from going out means i dont have a social life at all. I mean,i still see my friends at school and i can sometimes keep in touch online,so doesnt tat count as having a social life? And i do go out sometimes. I just hafta make sure tat everything tat needs to be done at home is done,and that shes gonna spend the day reading the newspaper, then i feel its ok to go out.

Rite this moment,my mum still hasnt gone for operation yet. Why? Its because the doctor is not in Miri at the moment and is prolly on CNY vacation and will be bak prolly arnd chap goh meh. But the main reason is becoz the surgery costs about RM23,000+. This may seem a rather fair price if ure a filthy rich person working in Brunei,but unfortunately..need i say more? Most of my parents' savings have already been used up for my brother's education. Sigh~not to mention im like this parasite sapping away at my dad's wallet for my school fees and stuff =/ I wish i could do something..

Anyway...i expect tat wat has been said here,STAYS HERE. My mum doesnt like the idea of her situation being told and known to everyone. Dont ask me why.She didnt even want my grandma,her own MOTHER,to find out abt this. So yeah..i just needed to get this out because its killing me to keep it all in for too long. So far i've only been able to talk about this issue to two ppl,of whom one didnt even bother to acknowledge the issue =/

Anyway,moving on to happier news..these are the results i got for my November 2008 AS level exam.
English Language B
Psychology A
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I LOVE PSYCHOLOGY! But im shocked to get a B for english >.< i expected more than tat..maybe its because i didnt get to finish my essays on time? >.< either way i wanted to retake English to get an A,but tats just wasting my dads money >.< If they're happy with my B,so be it =)

Other than tat,i broke up with Yong the day before CNY eve =P hahah,and the good news is tat i got bak together with him on CNY day XP hahah..so alls good for now. I'd like to take the chance to thank Grace for being there,from when i broke up till i got bak to him =P thou hahah im annoying arent i? And wats more annoying is my relationship with Yong tat goes on and off. But thanks for bearing with me anyway =)

Hmm wat else..oh yes, a *hugs* to Michies for calling me when she got bak in Brunei and asked abt my results..so sweet of u =) it was nice to hear from old friends again..especially one of Jamms =) I miss sgs,seriously T.T

--SheepsRulez(x*`