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Wednesday, July 27, 2005 {8:25 PM}

The sight of seeing your older sister cryin while being embraced by your mum is...i dont know the word for it...well,it kinda melts your heart.It could almost make you cry along too.Its lyk the emotion gets to you as well.And i truly believe no love is more truthful and powerful than the love a mother has for her child/children.That love comes naturally and its just so...pure-love without conditions.Well,back to the real story,i was standing there not quite sure what to do since moni was already being comforted by mum,so i just stood by her side.I looked out the window and saw dave's car leaving,but he did take a look back at our hse and i guess he saw me watching him from the window.Thats when he drove back into the parking lot and came up =/ Made me abit dissapointed.If i hadnt been there at the window and he hadnt seen me,would he have turned back? Well,leave tat aside for now.My mum said quite alot of words of comfort and advice tat really struck me.And when dave had arrived at the scene,my mum surprised me even more by saying that moni cant blame dave for any of this as he did not xpected any of this to happen.I truly wanna folo in my mum's footsteps,to be as patient,calm and understanding like her.I dont mean to boast but i guess i do have some of those qualities in me,and i truly thank my mum for them =) And well,i guess im not really all that understanding coz i just cant find it in my heart to accept dave just yet =/ After a hell lot of thinkin,i decided that instead of always hoping tat moni will get a better boyfriend/husband...i want to try help dave to make moni happie,and not to be so...uhm..irresponsible.This also irritates me because it proves to show that dave does not know how to comfort moni.When moni is in a mood and just doesnt talk,dave does the same =/ I mean,he shud at least say soothing,calming words to get moni to talk instead of not talkin as well and comin to me askin me to talk to moni.When worse comes to worse,like moni starts threatening to divorce,all he does is make whinin sounds and cast his eyes sadly down =/ If he were a kid i wud understand his behaviour!I mean,come on,i am way younger than him and i can think better than him( i guess).He really is too pampered...But he cant take that as an excuse for not being a responsible husband.He cant always want moni to do the thinkin on how to manage their life and financial stuff and all that,he cant heave all this burden on her.It is high time for him to be independent and know how to think and work lyk an adult,lyk moni.I guess being a pampered child makes all this hard for him since while young his parents had vrything taken care of for him,but he must know that things cant always be lyk tat.Moni oredi had many issues abt this matter,and he shud learn by now to think for himself and also for moni.

Well,i hope i can get a chance to talk face to face with david,as adults.Yeah,i may not be qualified as an adult but i want to do this for moni.Do u noe the pain tat shatters ure heart to see someone u love so much crying and in pain?I want to talk to dave...tell him stuff lyk...well,about wat moni expects from her husband.What he shud and shudnt do.What are his responsibilities.When to be there when hes most needed.In conclusion-how to be a better husband for moni so i can finally get the 'i want moni to find better husband' feeling off my chest.I guess im wrong for feeling tat way,but i only want the best for moni.And well,after puttin myself in moni's situation,i tried to undertand alil more why she wudnt break off with him.I guess im wrong for not thinkin of her feelings on wanting to believe in dave and have hope in him and their future together.All in all i hope dave can be a good husband.I always wanted her to find a better guy who made her laugh and smile,not cry so many fuckin times.But after alot of thinkin,i guess i shud have made dave the guy who cud make moni laugh and smile,instead of hopin to find another guy for moni.Am i makin sense here?

Well~i hope i didnt sound bossy or bitchy,wantin to talk to dave and all tat.I mean...im just tryin to help out.Maybe you guys have ure own point of views on what i shud do...but well,this is what i think i shud do.Haha...i really rambled alot.I guess i'll end here...and apologies if i made any confused while reading all that.And another thing,apologies to anyone who got offended while reading this.I speak my mind here...so sori if anything i say is too harsh and mean...sigh~my blog is the only place i daresay all this.Hope you all understand.

--SheepsRulez(x*`