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Monday, September 05, 2005 {10:20 PM}

Bad case of flu,slightly feverish,uncomfy feeling throat...ahh~recipes tat make you surely unable to go to school if ure physically weak,lyk me.Plus theres this lil bumps jutting outta my left wrist(no,i did not stupidly cut myself there)tat really itches me so badly i feel lyk scraping my skin off.I actually scratched it till it bleed.And yes,the more i scratch,the more they seem to appear.So i have to bloody bandage it soon if not i might scratch the whole thing to a bloody mess T.T So yeah,thats the reason why i didnt go school today,and tomolo im not goin to either.Gonna sleep in till noon and in the evenin gonna go for a whole body checkup *grumblez* Some of you think im avoiding you guys by not goin school...tats not true.It kinda hurts me too to noe u guys think tat way...no offence...

I seem to have a problem with my own life.I dont know wats happenin to myself.Im emotionally unstable and i dont know why.Its like i dont even know myself anymore.And recently...i dunno~life's been pretty chaotic.Everything was alrite during the Retreat however =) And ive noticed one part of me changed.Im very very emotional nowadays.I think it was ever since i got my period i started behaving this way.I dunno how long this is gonna last,but i sure do hope i get over it.Its lyk every word tat anyone says tat i feel insults me i just snap.Its stupid,i think its stupid...but i just cant help feelin this way.I guess peeps reading this blog might think im insane or paranoid..but hey,if ure a gal goin thru her period,i think u'll understand wat im goin through.My mum's wordz kinda comforted me though...shes say i 'matured' very fast and early,which may xplain my current moody state.Im just goin through a cycle,a very emotional cycle,every other teenagers have to go thru too at one point of their life.

Recently,my bro-in-law-to-be bought me a PS2 game for no apparent reason.I nvr asked for it,never hinted about it either,and he just bought it for me.And it happened to be my all time fav anime game,Inu-yasha.Im more than shocked,im mystified.I felt kinda softened at this,but my grudges against him hold me bak from feelin anything too emotional.I dunno whether to let go of the grudges or hang onto it.I feel lyk if i let the grudges go...if wud be no use,coz im quite sure those grudges will come bak coz he never fails to do the same mistakes he always does.Or maybe i shud try and have faith that he will change? I dunno...he damaged me pretty badly.He made me feel as if im so...well,nevermind.

My head hurts...i finally blogged after a while..and well,got nothing much to say here.Adios

--SheepsRulez(x*`